And so I continued to follow this type of advice thinking it would be my saving grace.
…But all it did was make my wife less attracted to my ‘cookie-dough’ ass.
And the #1 thing that took me overboard was when multiple family members would approach my wife & ask her about my sexuality.
Nothing was more humiliating.
I remember my wife got a job working at a hot yoga studio & men would always come in & hit on her. And not just average looking men, I’m talking about athletes, models, CHADS!!
And one time, her co-worker who saw me drop her off at work literally laughed out loud & he said to her, “That’s your husband? HAHA. You married that guy? You could do way better.”
Thankfully my wife has always been a good loyal christian girl & without me even having to ask, she decided to quit & look for a new job.
At this point in my life, I was so confused & frustrated. I didn’t know what to do.
All I wanted was to know what it felt like to be truly masculine. To be a KING in my home. To have my wife sexually turned on by my presence alone.
I wanted to feel confident. To look & feel masculine.
I wanted to be more aggressive & assertive. To be STOIC!!
I wanted respect in social gatherings. I wanted to be seen as a REAL MAN.
Meanwhile…
I’m watching p*rn every night while my wife is asleep next to me. I did this for years.
Long story short… I admit everything to her because I feel so guilty & I literally have tears running down my face.
Haha, my wife is looking at me like a chump.
Obviously she’s hurt by my actions. But we make an agreement…
She says to me, “Fine. If you ever feel the need to watch it… lets at least watch it together. I don't like you doing it behind my back.”
Not gonna lie, this actually sounded pretty great to me.
We began watching it together.
Fast forward a couple years, we both get addicted to it.
Admittedly, I'm happy she's addicted...
This way I can selfishly continue to feed my addiction!
Things seem to be going great.
I'm getting exactly what I want without the guilt or shame!
Until this happened...
All of the sudden, my wife tells me she 'doesn't want to watch p*rn anymore.'
So we stop cold turkey.
As I try to have sex with her, something terrible happens...
It's nearly impossible for me to get aroused without watching it.
Resulting in half-chub limpy erections!
Unable to get fully hard unless I've got on my favorite p*rnhub video.
Now my wife is sitting here asking me questions like; "Aren't I good enough?"
I'm ashamed. I feel useless. Impotent. Weak. EMASCULATED.
The only time I feel masculine is when I'm in my little fantasy world watching p*rn.
Another couple months goes by. I'm in the darkest place of my life.
People literally think I'm feminine & my wife thinks I'm a ‘wimpy, limp dick man-child’.